Surgery #2

I’ve been getting a lot of emails from people who are checking in and don’t realize I have my second surgery scheduled for Wednesday. So in case you didn’t know, now you know. This would be to correct the margins.

However, I have been contemplating a mastectomy and have an appointment with the surgeon tomorrow to discuss. Why this change of heart? Because the pathology report showing 6.5 cm of DCIS scared me. Because no scans picked up the extent of the disease; on what can I rely in the future? Because radiation, which poses health risks and is cancer causing in itself, is strongly advised for a lumpectomy but is not necessary for a mastectomy. And because so much tissue has already been removed from my breast. With (or without) another 1 cm to be removed on Wednesday I’m expecting a not-so-becoming cosmetic outcome. I’m told I’ll know the worst of it in two months, though there will be some slight improvement as the tissue continues to settle up to about six months out.

I’m betwixt and between. The thought of a mastectomy is so dreadful to me that it makes me cry. I’m so not ready for that. People, this is not easy. Not easy at all.

At this point, I believe I’ll be going ahead with the re-excision for margins on Wednesday. Then I will consult with a few oncologists to whom I’ve been recommended, meet the radiologist to learn about radiation treatments, and finally reconvene with my holistic physician and embark on his protocol of intensive natural therapies.

I should also mention that if the surgeon doesn’t get proper margins on Wednesday, she’s already said she won’t try a third time. She’ll probably recommend a mastectomy.

😦

 

5 thoughts on “Surgery #2

  1. MOST DEFINITELY what you’re experiencing is NOT EASY!! It’s scary. It’s something that “. . .no scan picked up the extend of the disease.” Fortunately, now you have good resources to consult and work with you. Streaming loving energy to you for “Surgery #2″…and HOPE the surgeon gets the proper margins!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

  2. This wouldn’t be half so hard to deal with without all the unknowns; not knowing what is actually there, or having a clear path for dealing with it, brings up all the fears of the worst-case scenario. I truly feel for you having to deal with all this, and thinking of your body in this way. I am glad you posted today as I was thinking about you yesterday, and then again early this morning, wondering where you were at with all of this. My prayers are there for you to ease the suffering, to find some resolve, and most of all for a good and healthful outcome from all this turmoil.

  3. The unknown is so hard! Running into the limits of western medicine can be painful. Best wishes for the best possible outcome to your surgery tomorrow.
    Also a bit of reassurance if a mastectomy is in your future, there is beauty and light on the other side of that I have found. I was so distraught about it originally, and was somewhat surprised with how it has felt since. I chose not to do any radiation after my surgery, so can’t speak to that.
    Sending light and love across the blogosphere
    Xo Iris

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